Take control of your perception to uncover more job opportunities, get more interviews and do amazingly well in them


This recording is from a talk I was invited to give in the Mindful Money Magicians private group. This group is organised by Ilana Jankowitz from the Mindful Money Coach (my first ever coach! – and friend since 😊)

When I start talking about the CTFAR model at 9:49, this is the image I was presenting, so make sure to have a look at it while I explain the model.

The CTFAR model (or the Self-Coaching model) belongs to Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School. To learn more about this model, have a look here.

To protect participants’ privacy, Q&A parts were removed from the recording.

A little bit of background on this talk.

One of the most empowering realisations I had is that we all live in our own reality. The trouble is, we’re all convinced that our version of reality is the only valid one.

Our thoughts are nothing more than the stories we make up about what our external circumstances mean.

Sometimes, these stories are a bad approximation of reality – and as a result, we let them talk us into taking bad decisions.

I haven’t seen this much snow in quite a few years. I love it.

These days, I love it because of how beautiful freshly laid snow is. As a child, I loved it because snow brought the promise of fun.

But once I started going to school on my own, in my mom’s eyes, snow brought the risk of me slipping, falling, and possibly breaking something.

(And to be fair, she was onto something. This one winter, in the aftermath of sleighing on ice – a very effective early lesson to not give into peer pressure – I did slip on ice and tumbled down a hill in a rather dramatic fashion.)

Though the snow is an objective external circumstance, the joy it brought me (even after my undignified incident) was a very different experience from the stress it brought my mom when she was raising me.

We both saw the snow through our own beliefs, shaped by our life experiences up to that point.

She grew up with three younger brothers, and all four amassed a somewhat hilarious (in retrospect) set of incidents while going about their children lives. A particularly memorable one was the one time they slipped and fell through a glass door at their parents’ house while fighting (and instantly calling truce once they realised they’re in trouble).

Unlike my mom, up to that point I was a single child (but not for much longer – love you sis!), and up until I took that tumble down the snowy hill, I hadn’t had particularly bad experiences with snow, nor with slipping and falling.

So our life experiences caused my mom and I to have very different thoughts and feelings when it came to the snow. And based on these thoughts and feelings, we took certain decisions.

One of the decisions my mom took was that when it snowed, because the roads would become slippery, either herself or another adult would walk me to school (to my embarrassment at the time – but love you mom!).

This was because my mom assumed the biggest risk would come from me not being careful enough walking on snow.

However, her assumption was wrong.

The snow was not the problem.

Having an adult attend me was not necessarily the best solution.

Because an adult was attending me when I chose to sleigh on ice.

In fact, he was the one who came up with the idea.

(Love you dad!)

So all this is to say that there is no such thing as objective reality. At least not in our minds.

We all make up stories about external circumstances.

And these stories contain assumptions.

But these assumptions are often wrong. And cause us to take wrong decisions.

The same way that my mom’s life experiences led her to assume that the chances of me doing something dangerous on snow would be lower with a trusted adult around, your job search experiences might have led you to assume that:

“I need to rewrite my CV for the fourth time.” 

“I’m not qualified enough.”

“I have no chances because I’m not speaking the local language.”

“I should lower my expectations.”

But here’s the thing.

These are your assumptions, not necessarily the facts.

What if that n-th automatic rejection doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not qualified? What if it actually means that you are qualified, but you need to present your professional value in your application materials in a clearer way?

What if the fact that you weren’t selected for the next interview round doesn’t mean that you’re not a stronger candidate than the people who did make it through? What if it instead, it reflects that you’re not confident you are the best choice for that role – and this came through in the way you presented yourself in the interview? What if the interviewer made a mistake?

What if the fact that you can’t find English-speaking job openings for the role you want doesn’t mean that there’s none out there? What if it means you simply haven’t been taught efficient ways to search for them?

What if?

Question your assumptions.

Challenge your thoughts about the job search.

Your thoughts are not necessarily the facts.

When you truly realise that, you begin to control how you perceive your external circumstances. And once you have this control, you change what is possible in your reality.

And new doors will open in your job search.

Because job search success ultimately boils down to how you perceive the world.

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Website: www.worthfulwoman.com

Let’s connect on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/CristinaMoraru